Okay, one of my biggest pet peeves is when I overhear someone talking about how another person "has to be bipolar." I get it, sometimes people seem to go off their rocker. Emotions run high, people have tempers, couples fight, teenagers act out, etc. This does not mean that every single unpleasant or emotional person has bipolar and it is so obnoxious and harmful to assume so. I don't think everyone who does this has bad intentions. A lot of the time they're venting frustrations and concern about a loved one, but other times they're complaining about a significant other or an authority figure. Unless someone is trained and authorized to diagnose a mental illness, THEY SHOULD NOT DIAGNOSE A MENTAL ILLNESS. That is the end of it.
I've mentioned in this blog before how once I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I developed a sort of radar for those words and always perk up--usually in an apprehensive way--when I hear it being discussed. It's so, so rare to hear anyone talk about this disorder in an informed manner. For example, I breathe such a sigh of relief when someone says "I swear they're bipolar" and another person says "are you sure? I know someone who has bipolar, if you need any advice I can help," or something of the sort. Nine times out of ten the first person will say "well not actually bipolar, but you know..." No. No, I don't know. Neither do you. Please stop.
So the reason I'm on this subject today is because it happened twice at work, oddly about 20 minutes apart and in completely different conversations. Coworker number one was talking to me about her son's constant up and down emotions and said she sometimes says he's bipolar. When I offered advice on ways to cope if he does have it (without disclosing that I do), she admitted that it's not that--basically, she threw the word out there for emphasis. He has different issues going on, but she doesn't genuinely think he's bipolar. I'm sure there was no disrespect intended, but it upset me. Of course I didn't say so, lest I out myself as being one of those 'bipolars' that everyone is so afraid of. The dreaded mental illness everyone loves to talk about but nobody wants to learn about. During the second time today I overheard two other coworkers discussing bipolar disorder, but one of them genuinely believes her boyfriend might have it. This didn't offend me in the least bit. It doesn't sound like she's done much research on it; more that she's trying to figure out ways to help him and is trying to put her finger on the underlying issue before she approaches it.
This second situation hit me in a completely different way. I wanted so badly to swivel my chair and say something to her (I'm nosy as hell, everyone is used to it) just to offer advice or a listening ear. I have so much to say on this topic! This is my forte. My own personal hell that I could totally lead a tour on, if she needs. I wanted to tell her what symptoms to look out for, pry into the instances that make her suspect bipolar, ask if he's ever seen a doctor, let her know the small ways it shows that the media doesn't portray and the general population isn't aware of. I wanted to help. I sat there for a while debating: should I talk to her and see if there's any way I can help, or should I not because it isn't my job to educate others on an illness they can easily research on their own?
For a split second I worried about her knowing I have it, but that worry left as soon as it arrived. I trust her and I'm fully confident it wouldn't change our relationship at all. My coworker from the first conversation, however, I do not trust enough to confide in. In the end I did decide to approach her about it, but then an alone moment between the two of us never came. I'll probably do it another day this week, because even though it's not my job to educate others on this illness, I think it's important to help people who truly want to learn but don't know where to start.
On a side note, I cannot count the number of times a person who knows I have bipolar has come to me in attempt to diagnose someone. Whether it's their boyfriend, girlfriend, mother, husband, friend, I have been asked to diagnose so many people that it's actually concerning. I'm not a doctor. Yes, I've been dealing with this for as long as I can remember. Yes, I've known it's bipolar disorder for the past 9 years. But I am not a doctor. I can tell you what to look out for and if a person's behavior sounds indicative of mania or hypomania or a mixed episode or psychosis, but I cannot and will not try to actually diagnose someone.
I honestly don't know what's up with people and throwing the bipolar diagnosis around like it's free money. Nobody wants it. It's not yours to give. Stop trying to make everyone bipolar. And please, for the love of god, stop insisting that the weather is bipolar whenever it's unpleasant! It's not a funny joke.